BACK TO BASICS: 2 Simple steps to help transform your communication

Two things determine what people think of you:

• Skills – how good you at your job; and
• Comms – how well you communicate with them

You need both.

Do brilliant work, but summarise it in a rubbish report… well, everyone thinks you’re rubbish.

Not fair?

Maybe.

But it happens.

So, a question for you…

Given how essential your communications are to your reputation…

…how often do you meet with your team, with the sole purpose of finding ways to communicate better?

Never, I guess?

Nobody does.

But your team’s communications are your shop window.

They must be good.

Or people will shop elsewhere.

Action Point

Watch this short video for simple ways to transform your communications - and therefore what others think of you – without you doing much work at all.

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How to STOP a boring conversation in 3 simple steps

Ever been networking, and got stuck talking to someone you can’t get rid of?

Or been to a meeting that’s dragged on, and you couldn’t escape?

Well, it’s important you know how to stop these. Or, they won’t…. well, stop.

And the key to mastering this is to know in advance how you’ll stop them. After all, it’s unlikely you’ll think of the right words during your conversation. So, it’ll keep dragging on. And on.

Here are three easy ideas for you:

#1 Use the past tense

When you use the past tense, it shows the conversation is over:

• Thanks for calling. I’ve found our chat useful
• It’s great to speak with you. I enjoyed our conversation

When you say this, people reply using the past tense too – “Thank you. I did too.”

And your conversation is now over!

#2 “I’m conscious of time”

“I’m conscious of time” works well in meetings. You can use it:

• To stop an agenda item that’s taking too long. Saying it hurries people along; and/or
• To stop your meeting on time, say it a few minutes before the end. This gives you time to agree everyone’s actions before you go

When you say it, people tend to do two things:

1. Look at their watch; and
2. Stop talking

So, you can now control how the meeting ends.

#3 “Offline”

If you and I were in a meeting, and I said to you “you’re going into too much detail. Shut up”, you’d think I was rude.

However, if I said “we’re going into too much detail. Let’s take this offline”, you’d probably say “ok then.”

So, “offline” is a polite, corporate way of saying “shut up”!

Action Point

Simple one: identify the phrase you’re going to say next time things drag on. Since, once you know it, you’ll say it when you need to!

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Have you served and volleyed today?

“None of you will be able to wipe the smile off my face tonight. I’ve just heard my wife and I are expecting our first child …”

This was a comedian’s Opening Line at a recent show.

He looked delighted. Could hardly speak for smiling. And the minute he said “first child”, everyone started clapping.

Until he interrupted us, saying “Let me finish… I’m smiling because I’ve heard my wife and I are expecting our first child to leave home. She’s only nine. I hope she takes her two brothers with her.”

A great start. In fifteen seconds, he had his audience in the palm of his hand. He’d given them a reason to cheer, applaud, be involved, be surprised, laugh…

And it worked because he split his opening into two. The first half set it up; the second finished it.

And, to get people listening to us, we can do the same.

For example, my favourite email title is the half-sentence “Jane, a quick question to ask…”

Jane will open this straight away. Three reasons:

1. Her name grabs her attention
2. The word “quick” means it won’t take her long
3. It’s intriguing – she wants to know what the question is (the second half of the sentence)

Another example: when I’m making a presentation, my first sentence might be “I have a question for you…”

Everyone looks at me. They want to know what it is. And I’ve already ‘got’ my audience without doing anything (the question I then ask needs to be a good one!)

Other good opening half-sentences:

• At the start of regular weekly meetings – "I thought we could try something different this week…" They want to know what it is
• And five minutes before the end of your meeting – "I’m conscious of time. One quick question…" That stops them speaking. You can now close it down
• When you want to find the best way to do something, ask "Can I ask your advice about something…?" They’ll say ‘yes’ (who wouldn’t?!) You then ask them
• When you want someone to do something for you, "Can I ask a favour…?" They’ll say ‘yes’ (again, who wouldn’t?) You then ask them to help you
• When you want someone to instantly listen – "Do you know the three biggest reasons why customers don’t buy from us…?"
• When you want to stop people being grumpy “Do you know the one thing we haven’t thought of yet…?” They’ll ask what it is. You then say something positive about the situation. Or ask what a good solution might be. Anything to change their focus
• When somebody asks you to write a communication for them – “Yes, of course. But can I quickly ask you something…?” They’ll want to know what it is. You then ask them what headings they want in it. Know these, and you’re much more likely to write what they want the first time

And so on.

I call this technique ‘serve and volley’. The serve sentence sets up the point; the volley finishes it off. Much easier to do than serving an outright ace in one sentence.

And (serve) so I have a surprising question for you…

Action point

… (volley) who can you ‘Serve and volley’ today? Prep both your shots/sentences before you play/speak with them.

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Want an extra 40 hours a year? Change the way you run your meetings!

Today’s post is a really easy one…

          Don’t have one-hour meetings.

And that’s it.

You see, most meetings last 30 or 60 minutes.

Why?

Two reasons – because:

1. Outlook is split into 30-minutes chunks, and
2. that’s how long they’ve always taken

Two dreadful reasons for deciding how long a meeting should last.

And it gets worse. Have ten people in your meeting? That means your meeting cost ten hours of a resource. Was it really worth that?

But there’s a very easy way to fix this.

Stop saying “the meeting will last one hour.”

Instead: “the meeting will last a maximum of 45 minutes.”

That way, people arrive thinking:

• It finishes in only 45 minutes, so we’d better crack on; and
• Since you said “a maximum of”, if we work efficiently, we’ll finish early

Do this for just one meeting every day, and you save over an hour every week.

Do this every week, and that’s 40-50 hours a year.

That’s an entire working week.

And, because you’d have spent that week in meetings, what a rubbish week it would’ve been!

Even better – if you want to save more than one week, make these changes too:

• Invite fewer people. Remember, you can always send some people your Actions Arising – they don’t all need to attend everything
• Have fewer agenda items
• Vary something. Meetings are often too long because of the habits we’ve let ourselves get into. You know the type of thing – every Monday, we meet at 10-11am, in the same room, sitting in the same chairs, discussing the same stuff. So, break your habits and do something different. Change the venue, start time, duration, seating arrangement, chairperson, agenda order… anything to shake things up
• Replace ‘Any Other Business’ (often a pointless chat) with ‘Actions Arising’ (ensures there are some)
• Don’t automatically make them the ‘45 minutes’ I mentioned above. If something can be done in ten minutes, book it in ten minutes

All these ideas are pretty simple.

But the easiest of all is to stop having one-hour meetings.

Right now.

Action point

Look at today’s meetings. What will you do to shorten at least one of them?

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Want more time in your day? Try this simple productivity hack today!

If your Inbox was a desk, and each email in it was a piece of paper – what’d your desk look like?

Would it be lovely and clean, and easy to work on?

Or covered in stacks of paper – on many different subjects, from many different people – randomly piled in an irritating, distracting mess?

Next question: which desk would be nicer to work at?

So, here's how to tidy your desk/empty your Inbox…

It's pretty simple. Just remember the Golden Rule:

Only read emails once!

Most emails can be dealt with in one hit, by doing one of the following:

• Responding – for emails that are important and/or quick to deal with, just hit Reply and act on it
• Delegating – for emails somebody else can deal with, forward it to them, telling them what you want them to do with it (don’t just send it ‘FYI’ – that doesn’t tell them anything)
• Deleting – my favourite! If you don’t need it, delete it

After you’ve done these, take the email out of your Inbox, and put it into a folder/the bin.

So that’s the easy emails. But what about the emails you don't need to act on now?

Well, simply drag them out of your Inbox, and into a diary entry on the day you’re going to reply to it.

For example, I’ve just had an email that needs a reply by Friday. So I dragged it into Thursday’s diary. I don’t need to look at/think about it until then.

And, to ensure my diary never gets cluttered by doing this, I have a daily "answer emails" diary entry. So this email has gone into Thursday’s.

And that’s it.

I love this Tip. It's been a Life Changer for me – and for hundreds of my customers.

Best of all?

It's really quick.

Each email now takes seconds only. In fact, on average, each email takes me 15 seconds to act on.

So, you can remove four from your Inbox every minute. That's forty in ten minutes.

Your desk is starting to look a lot clearer…

Action Point

Two actions:

• Apply today's Tip to every email you receive from now on
• To remove your email backlog, pour yourself a glass of wine one evening, and spend 20-30 minutes acting on/diarising each email. Then remove them from your Inbox...

This will free-up loads of time.

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Do you find it difficult to say 'No' to people? Here are 2 simple steps to help you say 'No' and be loved for it!

You need to know how to say ‘no’.

Or you’ll end up saying ‘yes’ to everything.

Including things you don’t want to do; aren’t good at; or hate.

And who’d want their day to be packed with stuff like that?

Here’s how to do it…

When you’re asked to do something you don’t want to, remember the phrase – ‘no, but how about…’

In other words, say ‘no’ to their request, but offer an alternative way you can help them.

This often leads to a better outcome for both of you:

• You don’t have to do the thing you didn’t want to do; and
• They get a good solution, albeit via a different route than they’d expected

So, the secret to being good at saying ‘no’ is to be able to identify alternative ways of delivering what they want. After all, if you can think of lots of alternatives, you now have wriggle room.

I’ve always been OK at this. But I got really good when I wanted to stop working Fridays. I wanted to spend even more time on my hobbies, and activities that gave me a sense of fulfilment. But what would I do if someone said ‘can you work on Friday?’

Well, we have lots of options:

• We move the day to Thursday
• We move the venue, so they come to me between my consultations
• We do it by phone, instead of face-to-face
• If it absolutely must be Friday, I could recommend other people they could use instead

So, when people ask if I can work Friday my answer is “I can definitely help you. But we might have a challenge with the Friday. Can we explore a couple of options?”

People always respond positively to this. They like the fact I can definitely help. And they’re happy that I’m willing to explore other options, rather than saying ‘no’ outright.

So, to say ‘no’, you need two things:

1. To have a number of alternatives for them 
2. Say ‘yes, I can definitely help you. But not like that. Let’s explore other ways we can do it’

Today, someone’s going to ask you to do something you’d rather say ‘no’ to. How will you respond?

Action point

Find something you want to say ‘no’ to. This’ll either be something you’ve recently been asked to do; or something you know’s fast approaching…

And then, do the two actions highlighted in the post:

1. Identify alternative courses of action
2. Script how you’ll respond, so they feel helped

And of course, if the person who’s asking you to do this new task is your boss’s boss’s boss’s boss… maybe just suck it up and do that one!

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Do you ever find it difficult to remember to keeping in touch with the important people in your life? Try these 5 simple steps!

You have lots of important people in your life.

Do you speak with them enough?

As much as you want to?

As much as they want you to?

If not, here’s a simple technique to make sure you do…

People tell me they usually contact people because of an event. Examples:

• You and your partner have a lovely meal out, after the event of them pointing out you’re working too hard
• A supplier shows wonderful customer care, after the event of a complaint
• You hold your first team meeting for a few weeks, after the event of them falling behind target

And, of course, that’s good. Events should cause things to happen.

But there are two problems if we rely on events as our trigger:

• There might not be one. That means you won’t speak to these important people for ages; plus
• People begin to realise that – every time you get in touch - something bad has probably happened!

So, try this instead – the KITE approach. Where KITE stands for ‘Keep In Touch Every’. Here’s how it works…

• List. Create a list of all your ‘important’ people. This shouldn’t take long. Just look at the contacts in your phone, and identify who you should speak to regularly
• KITE. For each person, write how often you should talk with them. So, should you Keep In Touch Every week, month, quarter, year?
• Group. Group all the ‘weeklies’ in one list, ‘monthlies’ in another, etc
• Diarise. Put in recurring diary entries, reminding you to get in contact with them. So the ‘weeklies’ would have a recurring weekly diary entry; the ‘monthlies’ a recurring monthly one, and so on. 
• Do. When the diary entry appears, contact them

And, when you do get in contact, remember - Person #5 doesn’t know what you’ve said to Person #4. So, you can often use similar messages to all the weeklies, tweaked slightly so each feels personal to them.

KITE means you never forget anyone. After all, your diary’s memory is much better than yours.

Also, it means you’re in control – not the occurrence (or not) of external events.

So, do you keep in touch with people as often as you should?

Action point

Do your KITE five steps.

If you’ve got 20 minutes now, do them now.

If not, identify now when you’ll do it later. It’ll only take 20 minutes. But, once your recurring diary entries kick in, you’ll always be proactively contacting them, rather than reacting to events. Better for both of you.

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A VERY simple way to make your next presentation interesting and interactive

Most people hate one-way presentations.

You know the type of thing – the presenter talks; the audience listens (or doesn’t).

But everyone prefers it when it’s interactive. It’s easier for the presenter – they don’t have to do all the talking. It’s miles more engaging for the audience.

So, interactivity is good.

But here’s a question for you: on a scale of 1-10, how interactive are your presentations?

Any score under eight is too low.

You want your audience more involved than that. Here's how to bump up your score…

Remember: if you want presentations to be interactive, your audience has to say something.

And that’ll only happen because of one of two reasons:

• They proactively chip-in; or 
• They answer your questions 

The trouble with the first is… they might not.

So, the only way to guarantee your presentations are interactive is to ask good questions.

So, when you prepare, as well as doing slides and run-throughs, you also need to script and practise the questions you’ll ask.

And aim for at least one question on every slide.

These questions should be both First Questions and Second Questions (where you probe into their answers to your Firsts).

For example, one of my customers recently delivered a sales pitch which contained a slide “The four main benefits of choosing us”.

It was a beautifully-crafted slide, packed with compelling benefits… But, until I intervened, they were planning to show the slide, read the benefits, and then hurtle to the next slide.

So, we scripted and practised questions. And, on the day, this slide was up for over ten minutes. And their questions went like this…

• So these are the four benefits that we see. What do you think of them? 
• And have we missed any? 
• Which of these benefits is most important to your business? 
• Why’s that? 
• So how quickly would you like to get that benefit? 
• Why’s that? 
• We can jump on that immediately for you. Have you got the capacity to work with us on it now? 
• That all sounds great. But do you have any concerns about how this might work? 
• I have a few thoughts as to how we could overcome that. But, before I share those, what do you think we could do about this? 
• Why’s that? 
• How about if we also did X? 
• So, we’ve agreed the main benefit is XXXX. What do you think is the next most critical? 
• Why’s that? 
• And so on 

As I said, this slide was up for over ten minutes. Read all these questions out loud and it takes one minute max. That means the audience was talking for nine of the ten minutes. Fully interactive. Fully engaged.

And you’ll never guess what…

… my customer won the business. The feedback they got: “We absolutely got the benefits you’re bringing us, how quickly they’ll happen and our role in ensuring they happen. It was a no-brainer choosing you.”

If you and I were chatting now – rather than you reading this post – I would have scripted and practised this question to ask you now – “when’s your next presentation that you can use this technique?”

But we aren’t chatting. So…

Action point

Identify the next presentation you’re doing, where you could incorporate more questions.

Then, script and practise them – both First and Seconds. Such that these questions feel as comfortable to you as your content.

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How much detail should you include in your next communication?

In the story of the Three Bears, Goldilocks liked her porridge 'just right' – not too hot, not too cold.

Just like the people you speak to. They want your comms to be 'just right' – not too detailed, not too brief.

But what’s the ‘just right’ amount of detail?

Well, I’ve no idea.

It depends. On all sorts of things – the topic, what you think needs including, what they think does.

So how about this: next time you’re preparing a communication for someone, ask them in advance what level of detail they want. Some examples: 

• Asked to create a proposal? Say "Before I write it, let's quickly agree on the content you’d like in there. That way, it'll contain everything you need without boring you with stuff you don’t” 
• Asked by your boss to write something for her? Ask her in advance what the main headings/sections should be, and the level of detail she wants 
• Running a meeting for your team? Ask them what they want in the agenda, and the level of detail they want 

I know, I know... this Tip is hardly the most ground-breaking thinking, is it?

But just because it’s obvious doesn’t mean it happens.

Ask yourself: last time you prepared a communication for someone, did you ask them in advance what they wanted?

And, if you didn’t, did the communication achieve what you wanted?

If not, you know what to do next time.

Action point

Today, someone will ask you to create a communication for them.

So agree in advance what’s to go in there. You want to agree at least two things: (1) the headings plus (2) level of detail.

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This could be costing you and your company a fortune in time, money and energy

Why is it that companies have rigorous processes and sign-off procedures for agreeing to a 200€ expense… but none whatsoever when people do something much more expensive – call a meeting?

Because meetings cost a lot…

• What percentage of your job do you spend in meetings? Multiply that percentage by your salary – that’s the cost to your company of you attending them all 
• But the cost is more than that. Now add on all the profitable, productive work you would have done if you hadn’t been at all those meetings 
• Now do the same exercise for every other employee in your company – that’s how much your company spends on meetings 
• But it’s more than money… 
• Now add on all the time absorbed in these meetings 
• And then there’s the negative impact some meetings have on people’s energy and motivation 
• One more: with recurring meetings, people often just go through the motions. This stifles creativity, thought and discussion – another huge cost 
• Oh, and then there’s hire of rooms and equipment; the cost of refreshments, and so on… 

This list shows how much it costs your company to have so many meetings. If you’re a team leader, you can make it more personal to you – multiply the costs/time/energy sap/Stifling Costs per person by the number of people in your team – that’s the impact on your team’s productivity and happiness.

Now, some meetings, of course, are worth their weight in gold. But, for the ones that aren’t, here’s the link to this post's title again:

     This could be costing you and your company a fortune in time, money and energy 

It could be. It’s right up there, that’s for sure.

So, what to do about it? Well, I can think of three obvious things you could do right now:

1. For all your brilliant meetings – the ones that everyone truly values and enjoys – don’t change a thing. They’re brilliant as they are. Carry on 
2. For all the rubbish, pointless meetings that achieve absolutely nothing? Stop them. Now. It’ll do no harm if you do this. After all, they’re rubbish and pointless 
3. And for all the meetings that are somewhere in between – they do have a point but could be more productive and enjoyable – improve them 

And to improve these meetings, remember my PALM technique:

• Purpose – identify your meeting’s purpose – what you want to happen as a result of it. Usually, this will be one of two things beginning with A – you Agree on something and/or there’ll be some Actions 
• Agenda – once you know your purpose, work backward from there. What are the only things you need to decide, to achieve this purpose? That’s your agenda 
• Limit the time – don’t schedule meetings for one hour because Outlook is split into one-hour chunks. That’s just ridiculous. If a meeting can be done in ten minutes, put it in for ten minutes 
• Minimal attendees – the more attendees, the slower/worse the decision making. So, only invite the people who need to be there, to achieve the meeting’s purpose 

Remember, if you attend eight one-hour meetings every week, that means you spend a fifth of your job in meetings. And, unless they’re all brilliant, that’s way too much. 

Action point

Look through this week’s diary. Label each meeting as:

1. Brilliant 
2. Rubbish 
3. Somewhere in between 

And then, for each one:

1. If it’ll be brilliant – attend it. You’ll love it 
2. If it’ll be rubbish – if you’re the owner, cancel it. If someone else is, decline it (politely of course. Oh, unless it’s your boss’s boss’s boss’s meeting… in which case, maybe just go!) 
3. If it’s somewhere in between, improve it with PALM

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No tech is sometimes better than high tech

Over a recent long weekend away, I saw something weird…

It was a family of four, sat around a square table in the hotel. All were staring intently at their own smartphones. They weren’t looking at each other. Weren’t speaking to each other. Nothing.

The group I was with finished breakfast then popped back upstairs to freshen up and then we walked back past the restaurant on the way to the reception.  And, I noticed the family were still there. In exactly the same position. Staring at their phones. Ignoring each other.

Then it suddenly dawned on me: you see this sort of thing all the time.

Like, when people arrive at a meeting, and the first thing they do is put their phone next to them. Face up. This suggests to me they think “someone more important than you might contact me. If they do, I’ll interrupt you, to see what they want.”

Or when someone misses something important in a meeting/presentation, because they’re looking at their phone. And they then expect you to repeat it! (To me, this suggests “this person on the phone who I can’t see is more important than you, who I can.”)

I’ve even heard that, when some people wake up, they roll over to their phone first, not their partner (this suggests “anybody is more important to me than you.”)

Now, of course, smartphones are brilliant.

Sometimes.

For example, I really need mine. It means I can get back to my customers super-fast.

And, let’s face it, you’re possibly reading this post on yours!

But real life is better than virtual life.

Real people are better than virtual people.

And the person who’s speaking to you – the person who has gone through all the effort and emotion of preparing what they’re saying – is more important than any virtual person who isn’t there.

So here are some things to consider:

• Download the App “Moment”. It shows how long you spend on your phone each day. This is very useful (and potentially alarming!) to know 
• Go and see your colleagues. As in, actually, walk to their desks and have a conversation with them 
• In a meeting? Leave your phone in your bag 
• Speaking to your team? Ban everyone’s phones from the meeting 
• Away from the office? Spend time away from your phone 
• Going out for dinner? Leave your phone at home (I remember taking my teenage son Jack and three of his friends out for pizza. When we sat down, his friends took their phones out. I said, “if you expect me to pay for this, the least you can do is speak to me”. Jack thought that was a fair enough request. They were amazed. I doubt they’d ever heard something like that before) 
• Going to bed? Leave your phone outside the bedroom. If you need it for an alarm clock, buy an alarm clock 

And the next time you find yourself with a group of other human beings, talk to them, engage with them, show an interest and have fun...

…because they are more important than anything else.

No matter what your phone says.

Action point

Spend less time on your phone.

Encourage your team to spend less time on theirs.

And that’s it.

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Super simple. Super quick. Super powerful…

Communication is supposed to cause something. If it doesn’t, there’s no point doing it. And one simple way to ensure your comms do cause action… … is to change your last thing so it mentions actions: Meetings – ensure the last item on every agenda is “Actions Arising”. This means there’ll be actions. Don’t end with “Any Other Business”. This just allows people to rant about whatever’s on their mind  Conference calls – same as meetings (after all, a conference call is simply a meeting when you aren’t in the same room). So end with “Actions Arising”, not “Any Other Business”  Presentations – Title your last slide “Next steps”. Underneath, write the actions you want your audience to do. When you do this, they’re more likely to do them. But when your final slide says “Thank you”, they’ll reply “You’re welcome. Now get out”  Emails – Begin your last sentence with the words “Please can you”. And then specify what you want the recipient to do. That’s much better than “I look forward to hearing from you” – which means you often don’t  You get the idea. Always end by stating what you want people to do… and they’re much more likely to do it. Action point – Super simple. Super quick. Super powerful… Preview today’s diary. Look at all your meetings, presentations, conference calls and emails… Ensure every single one ends with a Call To Action. Know people who'd enjoy reading this post? Please forward it on, and introduce them to our Blog :)

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How to write documents that get results

There are billions of written documents in the world.

It probably feels like you’ve read most of them.

But how many were exactly what the reader wanted?

How many did the writer enjoy writing?

How many had the desired effect?

Not many?

None?

You see this everywhere:

• Tedious emails that don’t get a reply 
• Wordy proposals that don’t seal the deal. Or that the customer doesn’t even bother replying to 
• Tedious Board Papers that arrive too late to read in time for the meeting 
• Reports that people prepare for their boss, only to be told to re-do them 

Sound familiar?

If so, remember these three words…

Confirmation, not exploration.

In other words, when you write something, wherever possible, it should be a confirmation of what you’ve already agreed verbally, rather than you exploring new ideas on paper.

For example, proposals. Before you put pen to paper, you should have verbally agreed with the customer:

• The solution they want from you 
• The price they’re willing to pay 
• The structure/headings of your proposal 
• When you’ll have a follow-up call after they’ve read it 

Once you’ve agreed on these, your proposal becomes a short document confirming everything you’ve already agreed. It’s clearly miles more likely to work than you sitting in a darkened room, guessing what they want you to write, not being sure, so filling it with as much stuff as you can.

So, next time you’re asked to create a written document, say something like this…

“Yes, I’ll write that for you. But the last thing I want to do is bore you with irrelevant information. So, can I ask you a couple of quick questions before I write it?”

(Trust me, they’ll answer your questions. They are not going to say “it’s ok – be irrelevant.”)

And then ask whatever questions you need to, to get their verbal confirmation about content. Things like:

• What content do you want in there? 
• What do you not want me to include? 
• What headings do you want? 
• When do you want it by? 
• When shall we have a follow-up chat after you’ve read it? 

And so, you know that document you’re about to write today…

Action point

… If you haven’t done so already, contact the reader, tell them you don’t want to bore them with irrelevant content and ask them about content, structure and so on.

It’ll save you both loads of time. And your document will be much more likely to impress them. And to work.

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How to impress the important people in your life

"All animals are equal. But some animals are more equal than others."

It’s the same with us…

"All people are equal. But some people are more equal than others."

In other words, out of everyone you know, there are certain people you must impress. Your boss, customers, partners, and so on.

There are lots of ways to do this, of course. And these broadly split into two categories:

• Don’t do stupid things you know not to do. So, always be punctual; never late. Always look professional; never shabby. Always prepare; never wing it. You know… all the obvious stuff that people often forget. And… 
• Do impressive things they weren’t expecting 

To impress them, both are critical.

For example, if you try an impressive thing, but turn up unprepared, late and shabby… well, that just won’t work.

But, assuming you already are doing the obvious stuff (the first bullet), here’s a great new way to impress them in unexpected ways (the second) – the 3Hs:

1. Hot priorities 
2. How can I help? 
3. How about? 

#1 Hot priorities

Find out what their main priorities are.

The easiest way to do this? Ask them.

And the best words to use in your question? "What are your priorities?"

Once you know these, it’s miles easier to impress and influence them. You simply need to do things that help them with these priorities. Here’s how…

#2 How can I help?

After they’ve told you their priorities, ask them how they’d like you to help with them.

They’ll either suggest something, or they won’t.

If it’s the former, do it. That way, you’re helping yourself by helping them.

If they don’t have ideas, go to the third H….

#3 How about?

Here, you suggest ways how you can help with their priorities.

You might have ideas now. In which case, you say "How about I do X for you?"

Or you might need time to think about how you can help. In which case, say "How about I reflect on how I can best help, and then come back to you?" (Let’s face it, they’re pretty likely to agree to this).

I like the 3Hs. It’s easy to remember. It pretty much always works. It has never done any harm – to me when I say it, or my customers when they do.

Worth a try?

Action point

Identify the person you most want to impress.

Think how/when you can use the 3Hs with them. You don’t need to organise an official "3Hs meeting". Just drop it into the conversation when you’re speaking with them anyway. Both of you will be pleased you did.

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Are face-to-face meetings better than telephone meetings?

Face-to-face meetings are better than telephone meetings.

Sometimes.

Yes, face-to-faces are better because they’re more intimate, you can see each other’s body language, you can often connect better with the other person, and so on.

But they also take much longer than Telephone Meetings:

• Travel time, hassle and cost 
• Meeting duration – people often schedule an hour for a face-to-face, but less for a call 
• Diary delay. I can schedule a telephone call for today. But our busy diaries mean we can’t have a face-to-face for a few weeks 

So, a question for you: when you’re organising meetings, do you think “pace” or “face”?

Because, if “pace” is more important, a call now trumps a face-to-face later.

I thought about this yesterday when I received an email from a new customer – “We loved your proposal. Let’s get going. The first step is for us to have a face-to-face meeting”.

So a great email to get. A new customer. Obviously, I have to impress them. So I have to do exactly what they want, yes?

Well, no.

Much as I know they’ll be absolutely delighted when they see my face, in this case, pace was more important.

So I called her (by the way, it’s often better to reply to an email with a call – quicker than playing Email Tennis). I said the most important issue here was pace. And that, with our busy diaries, a face-to-face would needlessly delay our kick-off. So let’s agree on immediate actions, and get cracking.

She agreed. We got going. Even though I hadn’t done what she’d asked.

So remember: people are often more interested in pace. Don’t have an over-inflated opinion of your face, and think people simply must see it!

Action point

Review your diary for this week. Ask yourself, “Does every single face-to-face meeting need to happen? Or can I phone them instead?”

Then, if a phone call’s better, tell them in advance that you’re both better off, meeting by phone …unless, of course, they’re absolutely itching to see your face.

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4 steps to becoming a networking Ninja

Most people hate networking.

Which is a bit of a problem, since you need to meet new people.

After all, if you don’t, your current contacts will have to sustain you from now till retirement. And that’s just not going to happen.

The good news is, though, to have more great contacts, you only need master two things:

• Networking with strangers; and 
• Once they aren’t strangers anymore, building relationships with them 

And that’s it.

So, let’s look at the first one: networking with strangers. Or ‘how to work a room’.

I’ve spent years studying what the best networkers do. And their conversations contain four elements:

1. In 
2. You 
3. Me 
4. Out 

In other words, get in the conversation. Speak about you (the other person). Then answer their questions about me. And then get out.

Here’s an overview of how to master these four steps:

#1 Get in - (in)

When working a room, you have to approach people.

And they’ll either be on their own or in groups.

If they’re on their own, approach them and say “Hello, I’m James” (though maybe use your own name) or say “Mind if I join you.”

They’ll respond with “Hello, I’m Jane” or “Sure – please join me”. Either way, you’ve completed Step #1 – you’re now in the conversation.

If you decide to approach a group, go to one that isn’t bunched together. Bunched groups’ body language is saying ‘back off’. But go to an open group and say “Mind if I join you?” is fine.

#2 Ask about them - (you)

You want the conversation to start about them, not yourself. For loads of reasons. It’s more polite than launching into discussing yourself. It’s easier to ask about them than be interesting about yourself. Also, when they ask about you, you’ll be better able to tailor your response based on what they’ve said about themselves.

The best way to speak about them is to ask good questions. So, an important piece of prep when networking: prepare questions you’ll ask.

These can be the usual conversation-starters, like ‘who do you work for, what do you do, how long have you worked there’, and so on.

And then the more useful ones – ‘what are you responsible for, what are your priorities, what are you working on at the minute?’

These are much more useful because they uncover their priorities. Which helps you impress them in Step #3…

#3 Be interesting - (me)

They’re going to ask about you. You know this question’s coming. So be ready for it. Prepare in advance how you’ll respond when someone asks you.

I advise focusing on two things – AFTERs and stories.

In other words, introduce yourself by explaining why people are better-off AFTER working with you.

For instance, if I say “I’m a consultant”, people reply with “between jobs are you?”

But if I say “I help people communicate better than they thought possible”, people say “how do you do that?” or “bet you’re busy” or “we need you at our place.”

When they ask one of these questions, use a relevant story. This is miles more interesting than discussing your company’s past. You know this. I mean, would you rather hear someone say “well, I started studying communication 25 years ago and since then…” or “well, you know how you just mentioned you’re responsible for winning sales? I recently helped a sales team boost turnover by 50% by changing how they communicate.”

They’ll ask good questions about your stories. They never will about your company’s past.

#4 Get out of the conversation - (out)

If you’re speaking with someone you want to meet-up with after the event, tell them you’d like to continue your conversation at a later date. Ask for their business card. Ask when they want you to call them. Ask if you can write a reminder on the back of their business card. And then call them then.

If you don’t want to meet again afterwards, you have to know how to end the conversation. If you don’t, you’ll get stuck with them for ages. Both of you will hate it. Here’s a good ending:

   You: Who are good contacts for you here?
   Them: Bankers.
   You: OK. If I bump into any later, would you like me to introduce them to you?
   Them: Yes, please.
   You: Great, will do. I’ve enjoyed our conversation.
   Them: Me too. Bye.

And that’s it – in/you/me/out.

Which means that, to prepare for an event:

• script your sentences for getting in and out of conversations 
• think of a few questions to ask, to discover useful stuff about them 
• script how you’ll describe yourself – use AFTERs and stories 

That’s what Networking Ninjas do. You’re about to become one.

Action Point

For your next networking event, make sure you prepare properly.

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Super simple communication tips to get people engaging instantly

First impressions drive everything.

And good or bad, they’re hard to shake once you’ve made them.

It’s the same with your communications.

Your opening sentence drives everything.

Start well, and they’re itching for more. Start badly, and they want you to leave.

In fact, your opening sentence is like a tennis player’s serve. It dictates the whole point. Serve well, and you probably win the point. Serve badly, and you don’t.

So practise your start. Serve well. And things tend to go the way you want.

Plus, there’s another reason your opening is like a tennis serve…

Your serve – like your first sentence – is the only time you aren’t responding to where your opponent’s hit it.

So, if you don’t serve/start well, it’s your fault – nobody else’s.

Fortunately, your start’s pretty easy to get right. All it takes is preparation.

For example, if you’re chairing an internal meeting, which of these first serves is better?

• “Welcome to today’s meeting. We are here for an hour. This is the agenda we’ll be covering – XYZ. We’ll then end with Any Other Business, to discuss anything else we all think of”. Or 
• “Welcome to today’s meeting. The only reason we’re here is that – after it – we need to be able to do X. As soon as we can, we’ll finish” 

Or if you’re sending an email, which serve will win the point/get the email opened?

• ‘FYI’, or 
• ‘John, a quick question to ask…’ 

Another example:

• ‘Latest sales figures’, or 
• ‘Making sure you get paid this month’ 

Let’s do one more example – when you’re selling.

The traditional start is a tedious, wordy slide – topped with the dreaded “We were founded in 1922”.

Trust me: this is a terrible serve.

Nobody cares how old you are.

So what should you do instead?

Well, for your first meeting, I advise you don’t take any slides. That way, you can have a chat. Ask them questions. Find out about their business. Tell them interesting things about yours. And, if you get on, see whether you both want to explore things further in a second meeting.

This makes perfect sense. So do that.

But if you feel you absolutely need slides, try this instead:

Contact them a few days before the meeting, asking which topics they’d like you to focus on in the meeting. Then, create your slides around these topics:

• Slide 1 – include their #1 priority. So, if they said they want to export into Belgium, title it “The best way to export into Belgium” or something to that effect 
• Slide 2 – list all the topics they asked you to talk about. So, this slide is your ‘contents page’ 
• Slides 3+ – a bit more info on each of these topics 
• Last slide – your 'Call To Action' – what you want them to do next 

Miles better than saying how old you are, how many employees you have… and then the next slide showing a map of all your offices. Eek.

You see, every time you communicate, you make a first impression. You can’t avoid that. It’s definitely happening.

So it might as well be brilliant.

A bit of prep helps ensure it is.

Action point

Preview today’s communications. Have you practised your first serve enough? If not, work out how you’re going to start/serve, so that people engage instantly. Know people who'd enjoy reading this post? Please forward it on, and introduce them to our Blog :)

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2 simple steps to eliminating poor communication

It can be hard to communicate well.

There are just so many obstacles in the way, aren’t there?

In fact, last week, a clients told me that circumstances made it impossible for them to communicate well. I asked what they were. You might recognise some:

• I don’t have time 
• Other people have access to my calendar, so put things in that absorb all my time 
• I get invited to meetings I don’t want to attend, but think I better had 
• Everything’s so last minute 
• Nobody else communicates well 
• My boss is a terrible communicator 
• My boss always corrects anything I prepare for her. So everything takes twice as long 
• All our customers prefer face-to-face meetings. When you include travel, these take ages 
• My inbox is so full, it’s impossible to do things quickly – or do them well 
• We have lots of pointless meetings. Nobody would care if I didn’t go. But it’s expected I do 

As I say, you’ll recognise some of these. You’ll no doubt have more of your own.

But I’ll ask you the same question I asked them:

        Are you sure there’s absolutely nothing you can do about these?

Now when you think about it, there’s no way that’s the case. There must be more than nothing you can do.

But, when I asked the client how they could overcome these, there was silence.

So I thought ‘well, if they aren’t talking, neither am I’.

So, we sat there for a bit.

And then eventually they said “well, when I get invited to a meeting I don’t need to go to, and nobody will care if I don’t, I could decline it”.

A great idea!

I asked what else they could do.

More silence.

And then they ventured “I suppose I could contact the owner upfront, say I can’t make the meeting, but offer to have a quick chat now to give my views”.

Another good idea. I asked for more…

And now they started flooding out. In fact, six minutes later, they had found ways they could overcome every barrier.

I then gave them half an hour to implement their ideas. For example, if someone had said they’d call to decline a meeting, they called right then – while I was there.

Thirty minutes later, they’d removed virtually all their barriers.

And our lesson from this?

Well, there are always reasons for poor communication.

But think: are they reasons (‘there’s nothing I can do’) or excuses (I’m choosing not to’)?

And, of course, if there is something you can do – well, just do it.

You might not remove every single reason/excuse.

But you’ll remove more than none.

And, when you think of all the benefits that’ll bring – more time, more headspace, more positivity, less frustration, more control, more fun…

… Now that’s something worth aiming for.

Action point

Spend two minutes identifying:

• Your biggest blockers to good comms 
• Simple ways to remove them 

And then do them.

This means that, just two minutes from now, you’ll have started to remove something that’s been annoying you for ages.

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Time Management - How to save one day a week!

A few years ago, I stopped working Fridays.

Loads of reasons. But mainly because I wanted a better work-life balance and so that I could dedicate more time to my own personal development.

But I knew I’d feel uncomfortable if I stopped working for a fifth of the week, and my business shrunk by a fifth. I didn’t want my business to shrink. Who would?

So I spent ages working out how I could become more efficient. Such that I could save a day a week without doing any harm to my business.

I’ve always been pretty good with time management.

But I managed to save a day.

A whole day! Every week!

Here’s what I did.

I started by reviewing my diary for the previous 2-3 weeks. I identified the things that were taking the most time and focussed on reducing them. For example, if you spend thirty hours in meetings every week, being twice as efficient would save you fifteen hours.

This list of bullets were my biggest time savings. Which one(s) could you copy? And which others did I miss?

• With every communication, be crystal clear at the beginning what the desired outcome is. For example, always start meetings with “by the end of this, we want to have achieved X”. Never begin with “so, we’re talking for an hour about X, Y and Z” 
• Never have one-hour meetings. Aim for 15-20 minutes for each one 
• Never meet face-to-face unless (1) both you and they think you should and (2) it’s convenient for you both 
• Avoid Telephone Tennis. Schedule “Telephone Meetings” at fixed times, rather than just ringing and hoping you get through 
• Avoid Email Tennis. Whenever you receive an email that requires more than a quick email response, pick-up the phone and ask “how can I help?” 
• Whenever anyone asks you to prepare a document, say “Of course. Let’s first quickly agree the structure/headings you want”. This makes things miles quicker and better. You aren’t guessing, and they aren’t disappointed 
• Every Thursday, preview next week’s diary. For any meeting, you now don’t need to attend, decline it – politely of course! For any you do, send a quick email “Anything new that you want me to prepare/think about before we meet?” 
• At the end of each day, review everything that’s happened that day. Then, do/diarise all your follow-up actions. So, do the urgent ones now. And diarise to do the others a few days later 
• Improve your delegating. There are some things you do that just don’t need to involve you. So delegate them. Yes, it saves you time. But, when you give them to someone better suited to the task, the outcomes will be better. So, everyone wins 
• Change communication channels. For example, I often see managers sharing their team’s results in a one-hour conference call. It’d be quicker to (1) email the results, asking people to read them before the call (2) host a ten-minute conference call, praising successes, answering questions, and agreeing actions (3) send a quick follow-up email, confirming the actions 
• Anything you don’t like doing, that won’t do any harm if you stop doing it … Just stop it! Tell the recipient you’re stopping, of course. If need be, agree on alternative approaches 
• Create a 30-minute “stuff to do” diary entry every day. Drag all the small stuff in there. Blast through them all in the 30 minutes (I found this one useful. Before doing this, I used to have every action as a separate diary entry. But Outlook would default to making them 30-minutes each. So, my day would look full even though it wasn’t) 
• Empty your inbox. And keep it empty for evermore. So, whenever an email comes in, either deal with it now, or drag it out of your inbox and into your ‘Stuff to do’ diary entry on the day you’ll respond. Either way, delete it from your inbox 
• Identify everything that you do a lot, and that you’re slow at (for example, with me, that’s typing). Now find someone who can help you with it.

So, that’s what I did.

Now, of course, you won’t want to do all these. But, I imagine you can do more than none.

And how much time would you save if you did?

Action point

Free-up some time.

Do this by looking at your diary, either in advance or in reverse:

• In advance – look at today’s diary – what can you speed up? For example, an easy one: for all today’s meetings, start by explaining the desired outcome of it. Then finish the meeting as soon as you’ve achieved it. Don’t let it become a one-hour Talking Shop 
• In reverse – start like I did: review your diary for the previous 2-3 weeks. Find the things that absorb most of your time, and remove/reduce them

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