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New Name! New Mindset! Better Results!

Most words about communication focus on the:

• Do-er, not the receiver - “sales” is from the salesperson’s view, not the purchaser’s; “presentations” refer to the presenter etc; or
• The communication itself - with “meetings”, people meet together; with “conversations”, people converse etc.

These are the opposite of the two most important things about communication:

• What the receiver (not the do-er)…
• …does after it (and not during it)

Changing the name of a communication can often change people’s mindset. For example, some salespeople think “selling” is something they “do” to someone. It isn’t. It’s a joint thing. A better phrase might be that they’re making an “agreement to help”.

Similarly, if you’re presenting, don’t think of it as a presentation. Instead, think of it as a “discussion to trigger actions”.

Other examples:

• Update meeting - ensuring next week’s better
• FYI - this’ll help you do X
• Meeting - a decision-making, action-triggering discussion
• Feedback - how to do better next time
• Conference - shifting everyone’s mindset and performance

You might not say these new phrases out loud (I don’t know many salespeople who’d say “so, Mrs Customer, let’s create an Agreement To Help”).

But thinking in this way helps you focus on the right things.

After all, if you don’t, you could end up thinking the communication is just about you or what happens during it. Neither is right.

Action point

Identify your main communications today. Ask yourself: ‘for every one of them, have I thought about the (1) audience (2) afterwards? If not, now’s the time…

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By failing to prepare, you are preparing to fail!

Getting communication right is hard enough, without leaving it until the last minute. All that needless stress, rushing about, frantic late-night working…

And this becomes even more annoying when someone else’s bad planning has forced this stress on you.

So what can you do? A few options are:-

• Just accept it, and put the coffee on… it’ll be a long night
• Be nice but firm: “I want to help, but there’s not enough time for me to do everything you’ve asked. What are the key priorities you’d like me to focus on?”
• Be abrupt, knowing they’ll plan better next time: “I’m sorry but I can’t help this time. There’s too little time. Next time, give me at least a week’s notice”
• Seek alternatives: “We’re too short of time to do everything you want. What could we do instead, to get the message across?”

Which of these four is best? Well, it depends on the situation and who’s asking for your help. As always, when choosing your response, remember “first, do no harm” - to you and to them.

But: with communication, what we hate, we often do (for example, when you’re in an audience, you might hate presenters using wordy slides. But when you’re the presenter, you might use wordy slides, to prompt you)

So, just as bad planning on someone else’s part doesn’t constitute an emergency for you, bad planning on your part doesn’t constitute an emergency for them.

To avoid imposing unnecessary stress on others, you could do some/all of:

• Use three diary entries (for preparation, delivery and follow-up) not just one (delivery)
• Forewarn others you’ll need their help in x days time, and schedule it in both your diaries
• Identify when you planned things well in the past, and copy what you did
• Identify when you didn’t plan well, and learn from that

Everyone can make a mistake with planning. But, if you only do so once, it’s not a mistake, it’s learning. It’s when people keep doing it that it becomes a mistake.

Action point

Preview your diary. What big communications are coming up? Have you told your relevant colleagues - and your diary (!) - about the preparation and follow up that’s needed?

Also, if someone frequently gives you too little time because of their bad planning, decide in advance how you’ll respond next time. If you don’t, you’ll almost definitely repeat what you do every other time.

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This is the easiest way to get people to do what you want them to do

“I persuaded my husband to do the ironing for the first time in 15 years”

“I used to feel awkward asking my boss to do what I wanted. I don’t now”

“The bottleneck in our sales process used to be getting signed paperwork back from customers. They now return it immediately – thank you”

These are excerpts from recent emails from three very happy customers.

They all used the same Influencing Technique I taught them. And, as you can see, it’s a good one! Here it is. But, first, here’s why it works…

As you know, people say “no” a lot – “no, I won’t do the ironing”; “no, I won’t do what you want”

And they say “no” for one of two reasons:

• They mean it. It’s a strategic, well-thought-out, deeply considered opinion; or 
• They’re too focused on other stuff to think about it. So just say “no” 

It’s often the second one. Like in the third email excerpt above: when the salespeople asked “have you time to sign the paperwork?”, customers replied “no, I’m too busy”.

Now, clearly this is wrong. After all, it only takes three seconds to sign a form. But their focus on other priorities meant they didn’t even let the question enter their heads.

So here’s the technique. Since “no” is the likely response, ask a question that includes a negative word. That way, when they reply “no” to your negative word, it becomes a positive. Examples…

You: I’m busy this week. Is there any reason why you can’t help with the ironing?
Husband: No
You: Great. When can you do it?

Or…

You: I’d like to move forward with this opportunity. Have you any concerns about me doing so?
Boss: No – crack on
You: Thanks - I will. My first step will be to do X. I’ll tell you how it goes.

Or…

You: We’re ready to start your project. Is there any reason you can’t return the signed paperwork today?
Customer: No
You: Thank you. What time will you be sending it?

See how it works? It simply needs two well-scripted sentences: the first one, with a negative in it; and a persuasive follow-up after their response.

Now, of course, when you ask the negative, they might reply with “Yes – there is a reason why I can’t”

In which case, you use a different response – like:

You: “I’m glad I checked. Why not?”
Them: (Their reason why not)
You: “So what should we do instead then?”
Both: (You work together to find a way round it)

It’s a great technique. After all, they’ll either do what you want; or tell you why they won’t do it. Either way, you’re better-off than you were.

Of course, as with any technique, it won’t always work. Nothing always works. But if you can get someone to do the ironing for the first time in 15 years, it must be pretty good.

So, is there any good reason why you wouldn’t give this a go today?

Action point

Identify the first person you have to influence today.

If appropriate, use this technique. Make sure you script both your first and your follow-up sentences (what if they say ‘no’? What if they say ‘yes’?)

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Tired of people not replying to your messages? Try these 5 tips...

Email Tennis. Telephone Tennis… You know the sort of thing – you leave a message, they leave a message, you leave one back, they leave one back… Or even worse – you leave a message. And they don’t reply. So, you’re faced with the joyous decision: chase and feel like you’re pestering; or wait and feel impotent? I hate Email Tennis. So I don’t play it. Here are some things you can do instead: If you work in the same office, walk to their desk  Change something. If you’ve chased by email and not had a reply, don’t send another email. Instead, ring them. Or – often better – text/instant message (IM). People tend to reply to texts/IM's. Something like ‘Hi X, Let’s catch up today. I’ll call at 4pm. If this time doesn’t work, please text me a time you’d prefer’  During Conversation One, agree when you’ll have Conversation Two. And get it in both your diaries before you finish Conversation One – ‘Let’s avoid Telephone Tennis – that’s just a waste of our time. When would be good for you, for us to have our next chat? Let’s put it in our diaries now’  Confirm Conversation Two’s timing in any follow-up communications – ‘As agreed, I’ll call you at 10am on Thursday’  (Be careful with this one) If person X just won’t get back to you, ask one of their close contacts for advice - ‘I’m struggling to get through to X. How would you advise I contact them?’  Which of these is best? Well, it depends on the situation, the person you’re speaking with, etc. But I find a text and IM's often work well. And it makes sense. People get hundreds of emails a day – most of them boring. It’s easy for yours to get lost in the noise… But they get fewer texts and IM's. And people tend to reply more quickly to them. Worth a try? Action point Identify the people who aren’t getting back to you. Now identify a new way to chase them. Remember: if your last chasing technique didn’t work, it probably won’t work next time either. So try something new. It’s often as simple as that… Know people who'd enjoy reading this post? Please forward it on, and introduce them to our Blog :)

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Actions speak louder than words!

Have you ever been to a meeting, agreed lots of actions…

…and then found they didn’t happen?

Thought so.

There are lots of reasons why this happens. But one often is that the actions weren’t actions. They were ideas.

For example, last week, I saw a Sales Director end his meeting with the action ‘so, let’s raise our game and sell more this week’.

That’s a lovely idea. It isn’t an action.

Other ideas-not-actions are things like ‘let’s be more customer-focused, be more efficient, improve the way we do things, embrace our new strategy’, and so on.

Ideas are good things, of course. But, without actions… well, nothing happens.

It’s easy to turn ideas into actions. Simply identify the very first step.

For example, let’s say you want your team to make their presentations more interesting (clearly, a great idea), it might look like this…

‘So let’s agree how we’re each going to start making more interesting presentations. Our first steps are:

• Look at your diary to identify the next presentation you’re making – that’s the one you’re going to make more interesting 
• Put a diary entry in 2-3 days before it, called ‘prep time: making presentation X more interesting’ 
• In that prep time, identify 2-3 new things to include, to ensure your audience enjoys it more than usual. For example, you could X, Y, Z 

See how the idea (make interesting presentations) has become an action (add a diary entry)?

And It’s impossible to fail at it! (Though it’d have been very easy to fail the vague idea of ‘be more interesting forevermore’).

So, I could end this post with the idea-not-action of ‘always make sure that you have actions at the end of your communications’. But, this’ll be much more helpful…

Action point

Preview today/tomorrow’s diary.

Identify the first communication where it’s important that people take action after it.

Spend time beforehand preparing how you’ll end your communication. Remember: it’s essential you help them understand what their first steps are.

After all, when people don’t know how to start, they don’t start.

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How to help people deliver your message

“My mate fancies you.”

Four words that never work for teenagers.

After all, asking your friend to tell the person of your dreams you fancy them… well, it’s just not going to work, is it?

She’ll wonder why you haven’t told her yourself.

If she’s keen on you, you aren’t there to take advantage of this keenness.

And if she isn’t keen, you aren’t there to undo the damage your friend’s just caused.

So, all in all, using a middle-man in this situation is a bad idea.

In business, though, we often need to use a middle-man. For example, you might…

• hold a senior position, and want your direct reports to cascade your messages to their teams 
• have created a training programme you want others to deliver 
• want to take a Business Case to the Board. But you aren’t allowed in the meeting, so have to ask someone to present it for you 

So, here’s the key thing: how to ensure your middle-man adds value to your message. And doesn’t dilute it. Or worse, contradict it. Here are a few ways to ensure they do a good job for you: 

• Be crystal clear what your desired outcome is. That way, your middle-man knows what you are looking to achieve 
• Be equally clear on the reasons you think your ultimate audience both (1) will want to do what you want them to (your middle-man can focus on these) and (2) why they won’t want to do it (your middle-man can help remove these) 
• If you give your middle-man supporting information – a slide set, set of trainer notes etc – for each page/slide, explain both its purpose (in other words, what you want the ultimate audience to say/feel after hearing it) and how best to deliver tricky or contentious topics 
• Ask them to add their own insights and experiences to your message. Their personal slant will help bring your content to life. In fact, without it, they aren’t needed. You might as well bypass them and communicate directly with the ultimate audience 
• Offer to act as a Sounding Board. Tell your middle-man they can practise bits/all of it on you at any time, until they feel certain they’ll do a great job 

You will add your own ideas to this, of course. But – whatever you choose – I strongly advise it falls between the two extremes of:

• Giving no guidance – “say what you like”; and 
• Giving total guidance – “I’ve scripted it word-for-word for you” 

The former means it’s 100% their message and 0% yours. And they might not do a good job.

The latter is all your words and none of theirs. It just won’t sound right coming out of their mouths. They’ll sound like an odd version of you. Also, this approach ignores all the great ideas they could include.

Action point

Identify the next communication someone’s delivering on your behalf. Find simple ways to brief them better. That way, your message becomes a combination of the best bits of both of you.

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What would Churchill do?

Here’s a memo Winston Churchill sent to his War Cabinet in 1940…

Memorandum by the Prime Minister

Brevity

To do our work, we all have to read a mass of papers. Nearly all of them are far too long. This wastes time, while energy has to be spent in looking for the essential points.

I ask my colleagues and their staff to see to it that their Reports are shorter.

1. The aim should be Reports which set out the main points in a series of short, crisp paragraphs. 
2. If a Report relies on detailed analysis of some complicated factors, or on statistics, these should be set out in an Appendix. 
3. Often the occasion is best met by submitting not a full-dress Report, but an Aide-memoire consisting of headings only, which can be expanded orally if needed. 
4. Let us have an end of such phrases as these: “It is also of importance to bear in mind the following considerations….”, or “Consideration should be given to the possibility of carrying into effect….” Most of these woolly phrases are mere padding, which can be left out altogether, or replaced by a single word. Let us not shrink from using the short expressive phrase, even if it is conversational. 

Reports drawn up on the lines I propose may at first seem rough as compared with the flat surface of officialise jargon. But the saving in time will be great, while the discipline of setting out the real points concisely will prove an aid to clearer thinking.

W.S.C

Looks like the human race has learned very little in 76 years.

And I reckon he’s right. Do you?

A quick question: if Winston Churchill – or your colleagues for that matter – reviewed your documents, what would he think of them?

Action point

Two simple actions – do one or both of these:

• Look backwards – review your most recent document. Does it satisfy his criteria for good comms? 
• Look forwards – preview your next document. Ensure it does.

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A simple technique to getting more yeses that's so powerful, it's practically a superpower!

The problem with asking someone to do something?

They might say ‘no’.

In fact, when people want to ask someone to do something for them, they tend to either:

• Ask a yes/no question, get a “no” and feel disappointed; and/or 
• Dread getting a “no”. So they don’t ask at all 

Not good.

But here’s a very simple way to increase your chances of getting a “yes”.

Just add a question word at the start

For example, imagine you’re meeting with someone, and want to meet them again:

• If you say “Shall we meet again?”, they might reply “no” 
• But if instead you say “When shall we meet again?”, you’re more likely to get a “yes”. After all, it’s much harder for them to reply with “Never” 

So ‘when’ is one of the question words you could use. Others work too:

• When shall we meet again? 
• Who else shall we invite to our next meeting? 
• Where would you like our next meeting to take place? 
• How should we meet next time – face-to-face or virtually? 

You can give them 2-3 options if it’ll help – “When shall we meet again? Later this week or early next?” or just keep it as open and let them choose.

But the Golden Rule: don’t offer a yes/no choice.

And, like all the best techniques, you can use it with lots of situations:

• Looking to make a sale? Offer the customer two options with different price points, and ask “Here are the two ways we can best help. Which do you prefer?” 
• Wanting your boss to see you today? Try “When’s best for you, for us to have a quick catch-up today?” 
• Want your children to go to bed? “It’s bedtime soon. You can go now. Or – because you’ve been so good today – you can have another 5 minutes if you want. Which do you want?” 

So, will you use this technique this morning?

No, strike that. This is much better…

So, when will you use this technique this morning? 

Action Point

Use it straight away!

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Practise makes perfect!

Have you heard the one about Carnegie Hall?



A lady gets into a taxi and asks "what's the best way to Carnegie Hall?"

The driver replies – "Practise"


Maybe you’ve also heard these too?

• Pretty poor practise prevents pretty poor performance 
• Failing to prepare is preparing to fail 
• It takes effort to appear effortless 
• There’s no glory in practise. But, without practise, there’s no glory 
• Seemingly instant success in public follows endless dedicated practise in private 

Choose your favourite. But the message is pretty clear – to master anything, practise.

And, of course, it’s the same with communication.

Now, of course, we all practise the big one-offs – the career-defining presentations, the conference keynote, the job interview, the request for a pay rise.

But what about the thousands of other communications you do? For example…

• your first meeting tomorrow morning – have you practised your opening line, so it starts well? 
• Tomorrow afternoon's presentation, where you want your colleague’s sign-off – have you practised the exact words you’ll use to get her support? 
• tomorrow's Update Meeting – have you practised how you’ll update colleagues, so it’s interesting, relevant and valuable to them? 

I guess not.

Most people don't.

But you can practise these things easily. It might only take 10-20 seconds. You could do it on the way to your meeting. Obviously, you’re more likely to say it right if you’ve practised.

So why don’t we practise more?

The most common reasons I hear – and my responses to them – are:

"I didn't have the time"

Time is never about time. It's about priority. There's always time for the things you prioritise as important.

"Nobody else practises"

So? That’s all the more reason for you to do it – it’s a simple way to stand out.

"It’ll probably go ok"

Yes, it might. But it might not. And "ok" isn’t something to aim for. Aim for it to go well.

So, practise more.

They might not praise you for the extra prep you did…

… But they’re miles more likely to do what you want.

Action point

An obvious one this week – practise!

For the key bits of your next conversation, make sure you know the words you’ll say – and that you’ve practised saying them. It’ll make you a whole lot better. 

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Simple, effective communication in one word...

What’s your reason for being on this planet?

I know – that’s a nice, light question for first thing on a Wednesday…

But, seriously, what is it?

I have the usual ones – to be a loving partner, a provider for the family, to be the change I want to see in society, etc etc.

But, at work, it’s this:

           To help people communicate better

So I spend all my time working out how to simplify things for you.

And I’ve finally got it down to one word…

In one word – “DO”

The most critical word with communication is DO.

In other words, what you want someone to DO after you’ve communicated with them.

Once you know this, you simply work backwards to create your communication.

In its simplest form, this will begin with “please can you”. For example, want your team to send you their figures for the month? Simply say “please can you send me your figures for the month.”

When you look at your “Please can you” sentence, and you think they’ll probably do the DO, your communication is complete.

In two words – “WILL DO”

With many communications, the one word DO is enough.

But you might also need to say something before your “please can you” sentence, to ensure they will do it – “Let’s make sure you get paid quickly. Please can you send me your figures for the month?”

In three words – “WILL WON’T DO”

Sometimes, you’ll also need to overcome their reasons for not wanting to do the DO – the why-they-WON’T. So, think upfront what these reasons might be. Then, pre-empt and remove them.

“(WILL) let’s make sure you get paid quickly. (WON’T) I know you aren’t fond of paperwork and haven’t the time to do it. So let’s make it easier for you. (DO) Please can you either email me your figures for month? Or, if you prefer, please call me to talk them through.”

And that’s it. For every communication – from a basic one-sentence chat to a complex multi-slide presentation – think:

• If it’s easy, DO 
• If it’s a bit more involved, WILL DO 
• The most complicated of all, WILL WON’T DO 

Let’s use this WILL WON’T DO in today’s Action Point.

Action Point

(WILL) Let’s ensure you achieve more today than you’re expecting to, and take less time than you normally would.

(WON’T) Now I know that you’ll be rushing to something right now, and won’t have the time to properly consider this. But spend 30 seconds prepping this – something you can do on the way to your meeting – and I bet it’ll save you at least ten times that.

(DO) So, please can you look at your next three communications today? Apply WILL WON’T DO to at least one of them (I’d choose the easiest!)

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Want some good advice? Stop doing the things you hate!

What's your Pet Hate about how people communicate with you?

Mine is when a presenter quickly clicks through slides saying "you don't need to know this … or this … or this …"

I hate this. In effect, they’re saying "you aren't important enough for me to respect your time. So I’m showing you slides I’ve already used for a different audience. I haven’t bothered editing them for you. In fact, I’ll just edit them right now. While you watch me do it’.

Yep, hate that one.

Here’s another…

When a presenter shows a slide and says "you won't be able to read this, but …"

But what?

Surely, the only reason for showing me a slide is to help me understand your content. If I can’t read it, it’s just annoying.

So why tell you this?

Well, there's a very strange phenomenon in communication:

What we hate, we do

In other words, what we hate other people doing to us, we do to them.

For instance, we hate it when presenters use wordy slides. But, when we're presenting, we use wordy slides to remind us what to say.

Or, we hate it when a meeting’s Chairperson makes no effort to engage us in their agenda. But we go from that meeting to a meeting we’re chairing… but don't explain how the agenda helps our attendees.

Or one of my favourites: last week, I saw an email a manager sent to his entire team saying "stop sending impersonal emails to everyone."

If you don’t like the negative wording of "what we hate, we do", the positive version is "think what people love – and do that."

For example, people love interactive presentations. So prepare good questions to ask, to get them speaking.

And people tend to prefer to be called than emailed. So pick the phone up.

Your next communication today will be something that others love, hate or feel indifferent about. If you want them to love it, you’ll have to do things they love. So, will you?

Action point

Write a list of things you hate others doing when they communicate with you.

Now ask yourself: ‘do I do any of these when I’m communicating?’

If so, you know what to do…

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Tired of unproductive and pointless meetings? Make this one change

When’s your next meeting?

And what’s the final agenda item?

It’ll probably be one of these four:

1. There’ll be no final agenda item, because there’s no agenda 
2. The last topic you’re discussing 
3. Any other business (AOB) 
4. Actions Arising 

The first of these is, frankly, ridiculous. If you don’t have an agenda, you don’t know what you’re discussing. So, everyone will either:

• Discuss the same stuff as last week – even if it wasn’t relevant/interesting; or 
• Waffle on about… well, I don’t know. And neither do you. 

It’s pretty easy to fix: write an agenda. Start by identifying your desired outcome following the meeting, and then list the topics you need to discuss, to ensure you achieve it.

Point #2 is better. At least there’s an agenda now. But it isn’t a neat ending. And, without one, the meeting could easily drift on and on.

Point #3 – AOB – is almost always a bad idea. After all, if something is important enough to be discussed in a group of busy people, it should have had its own separate agenda item.

Worse, AOB often means the person with the biggest mouth drones on about their current pet topic until the official end-time. Not good.

The fourth option – Actions Arising – is the best way to end a meeting.

By a mile.

After all, the meeting was supposed to cause something – that was the point of it (unless, of course, you go to pointless meetings. In which case, I advise you stop going to them).

And with Actions Arising, you simply need:

• A minimum of three things – what/who/when. For example – “Prepare the financial business case/Anna the Accountant/By this Friday 
• You might also add a fourth – the “why”. This reminds everyone why each action is so important – “To convince the Board to invest in this project” 
• Follow-up email #1 – sent immediately after the meeting – “As agreed, here are our agreed actions” 
• Follow-up email #2 – send shortly before the next meeting – “Here’s a reminder of our actions from last time. Please let me know if you haven’t yet done your action. We will then carry it forward”. This saves the tortuous round-the-room update on actions in the meeting 

Do you have meetings – where people just meet?

Or causings, which cause things to happen as a result?

Your final agenda item will tell you the answer.

Action Point

Look in your diary for the next meeting you’re attending.

Review the final agenda item. If it isn’t “Actions Arising”, change it so it is.

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Want to become a communication ninja? Learn to build bridges!

To become an expert in anything, you have to practise.

Whether it’s playing sport, a musical instrument… anything – the better you practise, the better you become.

So, here are two quick questions for you:

1. Do you think it’s important to be good at communicating? (everyone I ask replies “yes” to this) 
2. Given how important it is, do you practise communication often enough? (everyone says “no – not given how important it is”) 

Assuming you also answered “yes/no”, you’ll now know that you have to practise more.

But which bits should you practise? After all, you’re super-busy. You haven’t time to practise everything.

Well, in previous blog posts, I’ve already covered four key things to rehearse – your:

• Start, so you wow them early 
• Close, so it triggers the desired decisions/actions 
• Questions, so you get them talking 
• Responses to their likely questions, so you don’t dread anything they’ll ask you 

And here’s a fifth: the bridge. In other words, how you’ll bridge between the different stages of your conversation.

For example, in a meeting, you’ll no doubt start with a quick rapport-build. But how to bridge to the business part? You need to know this; or you’ll be building rapport for an hour.

One bridge I use is “My understanding is we’re here to explore X. Is that what you think?”

They’ll either respond “yes” – in which case we crack on. Or “no”, to which I reply “I’m glad I asked! What did you think?”

Either way, the official part of the meeting has now started.

Another example of bridging is at the end. This is something people often struggle with. How to politely stop the chat, and confirm decisions/actions?

One I use is – ten minutes before the end – “I’m conscious of time”.

When I say this, people look at their watch. Then they look back at me. We both know the meeting is drawing to a close. And that we have ten minutes to close it, and agree our decisions/actions.

A final example – when you’re presenting information (could be a full-blown presentation; could be discussing an agenda item), how to bridge from slide/topic #1 to #2? It’s important it flows. Bridging ensures it does.

I find the easiest way is to use my bye/hi technique. In other words, say “bye” to the previous slide/topic, and “hi” to the next. For example “So, that slide has confirmed this is financially viable. But it’s essential our people are also on board. Let’s look now at how we’ll make sure this happens…”

I’ll stop now (after all, I’m conscious of time). But you get the point. Script/practise your bridges. And things flow smoothly and quickly to the next part of your chat.

In fact, I see these blog posts as a bridge – between what you were doing before them, and what you’ll do differently afterwards. That’s why I always end with an…

Action Point

What’s your first meeting today?

And how will you bridge between the rapport-build and the body of the meeting? Then between topic #1 and #2? And then from the chatting to the actions?

Script/practice these in advance. And everything will flow much better. You’ll achieve more. In less time. Not a bad outcome for a few little bridges…

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Spice up your next workshop by applying this one simple tip!

When you’re at workshops, do they feel like hard work?

Probably.

After all, they are called work-shops.

So, think of yours as being fun-shops. Or play-shops. Or action-shops.

…anything that helps you prepare – and deliver – them in the best way.

Similarly, having a review with a customer or colleague?

Don’t think of it as a review. That just makes you both focus all your attention on the past. Think of it as a preview. That way, you also focus on what’ll happen after it.

Making a presentation? Instead, think of it as a conversation. That way, you’re more likely to converse – a two-way interaction; not just present your ideas one-way.

What we call things has a huge impact on how we perceive them. After all, let’s face it, when you go to an Update Meeting, you think you’re about to be updated. Often about stuff you don’t care about. Before it’s even started, you know it’s going to be too long, too pointless and too dull.

And have you ever been excited when you received an email titled ‘FYI’?

No, me neither.

So, spend longer on your titles. It helps:

• Your prep – you focus on the right things 
• Your delivery – both you and they enjoy the communication more 
• Your success – they’re more likely to do what you want as a result 

I thought of calling every blog post ‘Here’s another communication idea’. (Ok, I didn’t)

And apparently newspapers thought of headlining every article with ‘Yet more news’. (Ok, they didn’t)

But poor titles are everywhere. Look at the email titles in your inbox, and try not to cry. Now look at the email titles in your Sent Items and try not to feel embarrassed.

You don’t have to spend ages carefully crafting titles. But you do have to spend more time than none. Your prep, delivery and success hinges on it.

Action point

As soon as you’ve finished reading this, you’ll no doubt be emailing someone. Call it something that will make them think ‘this looks interesting – I’ll open it straight away’.

And the next meeting invitation you send? Please don’t call it ‘Update’…

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If you could reinvent communication, what would you do?

If you were starting communication from zero – in other words, there was no communication around for you to copy - how would you go about it?

For example, say you want to get something done, but need other people to help you. So you decide to have a ‘meeting’. But, since you’ve never been in one before, you have to decide how best to run it. Let me guess – you’d probably think something like this:

1. What do I want to achieve as a result of this meeting? 
2. And what’s the easiest way for me to achieve this? For instance, what are the only things I need to talk about? The only people I need to invite? And how quickly can I get it done? 

But, of course, we don’t start from zero. We copy what we see in every other meeting. Even the ones we hate. You know, the ones that are prepared like this:

We’ll put in an hour

• Let’s invite all the people who might have an opinion… 
• …and then let’s also invite people who might not have an opinion, but might kick off if we don’t invite them 
• Let’s do a long agenda of all the things we’re going to discuss… 
• …but with no reference whatsoever to the decisions we’re looking to make as a result of discussing them 
• Then, let’s send massive pre-reads which take everyone ages to read… 
• Better still, let’s send these pre-reads at the very last minute, so people don’t have time to read them anyway 
• Even better, let’s book another meeting immediately after this one. As in, the very second one stops, the next one starts. That way, there’s no time to process what people have just heard; and no time to do/diarise the actions 
• In fact, unless I discover the art of teleportation, there is no way I can be at this second meeting on time anyway. So I won’t be. I’ll rock up late. Make no apologies. Maybe even grab a coffee as I stroll in late. Then ask everyone who got here on time to tell me what I’ve missed 

I’m going out on a limb here. But, if you were designing how to run a meeting from zero, you’d never design it that way, would you?

Here’s another example…

Looking to sell something to someone who’s keen to start exporting to Germany?

If you were starting from zero, you’d:

1. Start by referring to them wanting to get into Germany, and stating you could help them do so 
2. Prove you could help them export quicker/better/cheaper than all their other options 
3. And you’d end by asking when they wanted to start 

But of course, it isn’t like this, is it?

• ‘We were founded in 1922. Here’s a map of our offices. Our business was founded by the merger of X and Y companies. in fact, here’s a photo of our Founders. Now here’s a list of all the various things we do. And a list of various companies we work with – none of whom wanted to get into Germany incidentally…’ 
• ‘If you’re still listening, this is how we’ll get you to Germany’ 
• ‘But you probably won’t be. Because I put all the words I’m saying verbally onto some slides because I didn’t have time to prep properly. I needed Speaker Prompts, you see. So, I guess you’ve read them anyway’ 
• ‘And I’ll end with a big summary, so I can repeat everything again. Just quicker. 

Once again, if you were designing selling from zero, you’d never do it like that.

Here’s a similar example:

Imagine you’re selling to someone. But this time you don’t know what they want to achieve. So you didn’t know they wanted to get into Germany. If you were designing selling from zero, you’d probably:

1. Ask them what they wanted to achieve following working with you 
2. They’d say “To export into Germany” 
3. You’d then do everything in the previous example 

But, people don’t sell like this. They don’t ask enough (any?) questions. They just talk about themselves.

One more quick example…

You want to send someone some information they’ll find useful. If you were deciding how to do this from zero, you’d:

1. Call them in advance, asking what info they want in there 
2. Create it for them, following their guidance 
3. Send it to them with notes explaining why you’ve sent it, and what you want them to do with it; and/or 

You would never just send it “FYI”.

I could go on. But you get the point. People don’t communicate in logically sensible ways. Ways they’d communicate if they were designing communication from zero.

No. Instead, they communicate based on their habits. In other words, they do today what they did yesterday. Even if it didn’t work yesterday.

We’re humans. So, we’re creatures of habit. And that’s a good thing. It means we can embed things, freeing-up our brains so we can learn new stuff.

But habits can also be bad. We act without thinking. The dieter who automatically picks up the cake. The reformed smoker who picks up the cigarette. The delegate on a course who says, “This will change what I do forever...after I’ve just answered these 17 emails…oh, it doesn’t seem as important anymore.”

The person who reads these blog posts?

Here’s a really simple idea…

Action point

Look at the communications you’ve got today. If you were designing them from zero – in other words, you weren’t going to base them on what you did last week – how would you go about them? Why not try doing them differently today? You never know, if the new way works, you might get in the habit of doing it this way every time…

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How can the weather turn your next communication into a powerful force of nature?

Imagine I asked you what the weather was going to be like today. How would you respond?

1. Maybe by looking out of your window and telling me what you could see? 
2. Or by giving me a full-blown shipping forecast? 
3. Something else? 

What if I gave you a bit more information? That the reason I want to know the weather is because I’m just walking down to the village. I want to know whether to take an umbrella or not.

Now, I imagine you’d just say something like “It won’t rain. No need for the brolly.”

In other words, it’s really easy to give the right information when you know why I want it, and how I’ll use it.

Now another example…

Imagine your boss asks you for an update on what you’re working on. How would you respond?

1. By looking out of your window, and saying how you see things going? 
2. By doing a full-blown shipping forecast type of thing… tons of detail, much of it not needed, but definitely thorough. They certainly won’t be thinking you’ve not been working hard 
3. Or would you ask why they wanted to know, and how they’d use the information? 

And which approach would lead to you producing something you both felt pleased with?

Here’s another…

You work in sales. And the customer asks for a proposal. How do you respond?

1. With a document explaining how you see the world, listing all your strengths, past successes and so on. 
2. Or with a shipping-forecast-style thing… ridiculously long, tons of detail. Much of it not needed, but definitely thorough. 
3. Or would you ask what information they wanted to see in there? That way, it would be 100% relevant to them. And miles quicker to write. 

I remember seeing a female interviewer ask Zac Efron “Zac, if you were going to take me on a date, where would we go?”

His answer was brilliant.

Instead of giving a full-blown shipping forecast answer, he said “Well, what do you like doing?”

She said “Dining out”.

So he said “Well I’ll take you to the best restaurant in town”.

You’ll be preparing communications for others today. There’s only one way to find out exactly what they want in there. Will you do it?

Action Point

For your next big communication, ask the recipient why they want it, and how they’ll use it. Use whichever words you want. The ones I’ve found best: 

• What outcome are you looking for, from this communication? 
• Therefore, what content/headings do you want in there? 
• What content/headings do you not want - after all, it’s better for us both if it’s shorter! 
• Can we quickly chat this through so we agree things verbally? That way, my written document becomes a confirmation not an exploration

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Want an extra 8 hours in your week? These simple steps will show you how!

Do you ever find the job you’ve been asked to do isn’t the job that needs to be done?

This happened to me last month.

A company wanted me to help their salespeople sell more.

But the more time I spent with the salespeople, the more I realised their sales skills were pretty good. The problem was their calendars. They were so full of ‘corporate stuff’ that the salespeople didn’t have time to see enough customers.

Does this feel familiar? That feeling of ‘My calendar’s so busy that I can’t even do my day job’?

If so, you’ll enjoy this tip.

They did.

In fact, we tracked what’s happened to this team since our work together. And they’re each saving over eight hours per week.

Eight hours!

That’s a whole day a week.

And guess what? They’ve already started selling more.

So let’s free-up lots of time in your calendars - by doing the same thing I taught them…

I started with the important rule - your calendar is your fault. If your calendar lets you do what you want, that’s your fault. If it doesn’t, that’s your fault too.

We then did this simple exercise to free-up their time (remember: this gave each of them eight free hours every week):

1. Print off your calendars for the previous two weeks 
2. For every calendars entry, ask yourself: ‘what could I have done to at least halve the time I spent on this thing?’ For example… 

• …You went to a meeting you didn’t need to 
• …You went to a meeting, but only needed to attend half of it 
• …You created a document which wasn’t what was wanted, so had to re-do it 
• …You spent time travelling to a face-to-face meeting which could have been a phone call 
• …You played Telephone Tennis with someone, wasting time trying to speak to them 
• …Someone asked for your help with something that ended up taking ages 

When you’ve done this calendar review, if you managed to halve everything in the previous two weeks, you could’ve saved yourself one week.

A whole week!

Even if you could ‘only’ saved yourself a few hours… well, you’ve just saved yourself a few hours!

Now if this Tip were to stop here, it’d just be annoying - ‘well that’s just great, James. I now realise I wasted a week. Thanks a lot.’

But fortunately it doesn’t end there….

Instead, you now print your calendar for the next two weeks. Then ask yourself ‘based on the exercise I’ve just done, which calendar entries can I spend less time doing?’

And, once you identify potential time savings, communicate in advance to ensure you get them. For example:

• Invited to meetings you don’t need to attend? Contact the owner beforehand, saying you’ve realised you can’t contribute anything worthwhile to this topic. So you won’t dilute what they’re doing by attending. (maybe add that you’d love to see the ‘Actions Arising’?) 
• Invited to a meeting where you can only contribute to half the agenda? Contact the owner, say you’re busy that day and will struggle to make the whole hour. But explain that, if they move the ‘your’ agenda items to the beginning, you’ll attend for just that bit 

• Preparing a document that will be hard to get right first time? 

1. Have a quick chat upfront with the owner – agree what outcome she wants from the document, plus what the main headings should be 
2. Bullet-point what you’ll include in each section, and ask for her approval/edits 
3. Write you document, using your pre-agreed essay plan – much more likely to be right first time 

• Got some meetings that are face-to-face but don’t need to be? Contact the other person, suggesting you ‘meet’ by phone 
• Dreading an imminent game of Telephone Tennis? Text the other person - ‘Let’s avoid the dreaded Telephone Tennis. I’ll call you at 4pm today. Please text me a different time if that doesn’t work’ 

Notice how each of these suggestions benefits you both?

So it’s not just you saving time. They do too.

And they’re still getting what they want from you. But now, it’s better/quicker than they would’ve done.

So everyone wins.

Action Point

Pretty obvious this week, I guess…

…print off your calendar for the previous two weeks. Try and halve the time you spent on everything.

Then, preview the next two weeks and identify time savings.

Finally, communicate in advance and carefully with others, to free-up your and their time.

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Make your next communication more engaging and compelling by applying this simple tip

Imagine seeing someone who was all body.

I mean, literally, just a body. No head, no legs, nothing.

Without a head, they wouldn’t be able to engage with you.

Or with anything really.

And without legs, they wouldn’t be able to walk anywhere.

Communication is like that. They need head and legs. Or, as people usually call them, a top and tail:

• Top – an engaging start. Your opening must draw people in. With written documents, that’s your title, subtitle and introduction. With verbal, it’s your first couple of sentences; 
• Tail – a directing end. Your close must direct people what to do next. Or they won’t do anything 

Obvious, I know. At least, in theory. But in practice, things are often very different. So here’s how to apply top/tail to your communications:

With meetings…

• Ensure the meeting’s title makes it sound interesting. For example, replace “Sales Meeting” with “How we’ll smash our target next month” 
• Then go through your agenda 
• At the end, the last agenda item of every meeting should be ‘confirming next actions’. In this case, it might be “Everyone to share two new techniques they’ll be doing next month” 

With presentations…

• Put a benefit in the title and/or subtitle. So, replace “Q2 update” with “Three ways to guarantee a brilliant Q3” 
• Then your content 
• Your final slide should be clear on next steps – “To progress this, I’ll do A and B. Please can you do C and D”. (By the way, when your final slide says “Thank you”, the only thing your audience will say is “You’re welcome. Now leave me”) 

For emails…

• The title must persuade people to open the email. Trust me – “FYI” doesn’t. Much better is “Ensuring you get paid this month” 
• Then comes your email content 
• End with a final paragraph containing the call to action – “Please can you do (action) X by (date) Y. I’ll then do (action) Z” 

Your top and tail are so essential – after all, without them, there’s zero engagement and zero action – start your preparation there. You’ll be surprised how many communications only need a top/tail. After all, once you’ve said “Making sure you get paid this month… Please reply and send me your figures for the month, and I’ll put them in the system for you” – well, there isn’t much else to say!

Action point

What’s your next communication? Is it a meeting, presentation, email? Spend ten seconds thinking how you’ll top/tail it. This won’t take you long. Just ten seconds. But it’ll be more likely to work when you do.

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